It's not about me

"It is not simply that God has arbitrarily made us such that He is our only good. Rather God is the only good of all creatures: and by necessity, each must find its good in that kind and degree of the fruition of God which is proper to its nature. The kind and degree may vary with the creature's nature: but that there ever could be any other good, is an atheistic dream. George Macdonald represents God as saying to men, 'You must be strong with my strength and blessed with my blessedness, for I have no other to give you.' That is the conclusion of the whole matter. God gives what He has, not what He has not: He gives the happiness that there is, not the happiness that is not. To be God----to be like God and to share His goodness in creaturely response----to be miserable----these are the only three alternatives. If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows---the only food that any possible universe ever can grow----then we must starve eternally." ~CS Lewis in Problem of Pain

I read this today, and I liked it. Not totally sure on my thoughts about it, because I'm not a cut-dry-there-are-x-amount-of-ways-to-live/experience-so-and-so kind of person. I used to be, but I have realized more and more that we can't put God in a reasonable, rational system. I am however encouraged by CS here. Yes, I do agree with him and see his point. God is the good of all creatures...I guess I'm just upset about how simple it seems: "to be like God and to share His goodness in creaturely response" simple sounding, yet so difficult for me. Do you ever feel like the miserable route is a whole lot more simple? I admit, being a christian can be miserable a lot of times...is that bad? I don't think so...I don't think that good and happiness are necessarily synonymous. So I guess at least when I'm miserable, it isn't an empty miserableness (is that a word?) Maybe I just need to get over myself and realize that this life is NOT ABOUT ME (hmm...quite a concept I know).

Nope, this life is not about me, and no....

Jesus didn't come to make me happy all the time....

I often complain about the expectations that I feel have been placed on me by Christianity (which I have learned is ABSOLUTELY silly for me to be complaining about). Jesus simply asks me to love him, that's all.

The next time I'm feeling down about certain pressures of my religion, I'm going to ask myself this question:

"What about the expectations/pressures we place on Jesus?"

I know I totally do that. I expect Him to give me certain things when I ask or am "good," or allow me to feel a certain way, and when He doesn't, I question Him, His legitamacy, and His compassion. So, who is REALLY being the one with all the expectations? Oh yes, guilty as charged. :-)

Yesterday, at church, Pastor Bryan talked about how the jewish people expected the messiah to be a certain way. To come in and save them from Rome, to be a great and powerful person...saving them from oppression, and when He was not what they had expected, many turned their backs on Jesus. What those didn't realize is that Jesus did rescue them from oppression of a deeper sort and that was achieved through pain and suffering. Even today, we expect Jesus to save us from certain things in certain ways, and when we ask Him, and He does not respond in the way we desire (taking away pain, making us happy, etc...), and instead we suffer, we sometimes reject him. I know I do that. Once again, I need to get over myself, and just embrace the fact that His ways are not our ways, and this life is NOT ABOUT ME!

Hmm..once more in a venting mood (it really does help though to get thoughts out on a "page").....if you can make sense of my thoughts because of their tendency to jump from one topic to another, then I'm impressed. I don't even know if I can, maybe just read CS, and disregard my ramblings...less complicated that way. God bless you my friends, and may you experience the simple gift that Jesus gives...the freedom that comes with NO expectations except for to love Him.

I love you all, I really do.