Reflections on Rollercoasters

As I sit here I suddenly find myself with a lot on my mind. Dang it! I made it all the way until 2:00 without thinking, and alas, I have fallen back into the dark pool of my mind. Well, although slightly frightening at times by the many ripples of confusion, it really isn't that dark. Anyways, I started partaking in the dangerous act we call thought when asked to reflect on 2005. So I turned on the soothing lyrics of Chris Martin and headed down the road of reflection. It's so amazing how much can happen in one year, and then again how fast the year goes by. I have also found myself in a very interesting and new place/perspective. My entire life (well, as far back as I can remember) I haven't been following the normal yearly calendar. Nope, neither have most people my age...yes, you have been deceiving yourselves to think that the year actually starts/ends on Jan. first. I've been following the "school calendar" as the final say in the beginning and ending of my year. The year began in September with school and ended in June. Then July and August didn't really count as the year...that's the summer, an entirely separate time frame to be considered. So when Jan first rolled around I never really thought it was a big deal....the year wasn't over until June, and even now I look back on my years as, "oh, back in junior year I....." etc, etc..... (ok, you get the point). So, here I sit, my first real year. I have finally come to the place in my life where years begin in Jan....the adult years. WOW!!!! That was intense.

I was reflecting on this last year, and one word really jumps into my mind: drama.......oh wait, what is that I hear? Oh yes, it's just the sound of the jaws of those who know me hitting the floor. I'll give you a minute to get over your surprise...................Yes, this year has been kind of dramatic, and I'm beginning to realize that most of life is probably going to be this way. Is it is like this for everyone? Does the entire human race exist in this soap opera? Or am I just one of the lucky chosen few whose life seems to be one rollercoaster after another (no wonder I despise amusement parks; way too close to home...well, with the exception of Disneyland of course, which pretty much goes without saying)? Don't get me wrong; drama isn't always a bad thing, it's just that sometimes I just want to rest. Is that possible in this life? Well, definitely not without the help of our Lord....(How I didn't lose my mind before I knew our savior really baffles me, oh wait, yes I do.....and even then I wasn't losing my mind by simply killing it instead). I guess, no, I know the best thing is when the Lord provides rest in the midst of the soap opera....that is real and true rest, and yes, I have tasted that, but only through surrender....

And once again I find myself rambling and gladly clinging to those tangents that I so enjoy. I haven't even mentioned anything that went on this year. Well, I'm not sure I'm ready to go into the details all that much....but a lot happened. A lot of good, and a lot of hard (I don't want to say "bad" because hard doesn't necessarily equal bad). This year has probably been one of the toughest (is it a bad sign if I tend to say that at the end of each year?) ;-) but the most wonderful thing is that I can look back on last Jan 1 and honestly say that my eyes have been opened even more to our Lord Jesus since then; I have experienced more of Him, and that is why I live (to experience Him more, and step closer into His kingdom, bringing others along as much as possible), and if life is going to be more and more dramatic, yet causes me to see more of Him, then I say I have a lot to look forward to. Wow, kind of scary, but hey....God is terrifying now isn't He?

(oh, and just so you don't worry...it's really not that bad...there are countless others who have been through much that I haven't even come close to experiencing this last year...for example, New Orleans, Iraq....my heart goes out to those who have suffered far more than I can even begin to relate to....the Lord has been too good to me, and I praise Him for another year...just don't want anyone to think I'm being all negative....it has been a good year of which I am thankful for....Oh my gosh!!! So many blessings! That must be reserved for it's own posting; I have much to be thankful for).

Alright, off I go.....maybe I'll provide a better breakdown of this last year later (I can't fully reflect on 2005 while we're still in it!!!! I still have one more day!). This was simply a reflection on my reflection....I feel much better now. Thanks!!!!

Have a fantastic New Years celebration!!!!!! I love you all!

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" Psalm 34:8